Ten

Two hours later we had the presentation nailed. I leaned back in the chair and let out a sigh of relief. I was someway to reconciliation, if I didn’t think too hard I could forget that Kathy and Carol were naked. I was beginning to think that I would make it through the wedding when Carol said “what we need is some photos”

“We’ve put some in” I countered

“Yes, but you know” she said rather incomprehensively

Unfortunately I knew exactly what she meant but I wasn’t going to let her off easily.

“No, I don’t know what you mean”

“We need some nudie photos” she expanded

“What!” I exploded in indignation

“Well just to give the impression we are naked, you know like those old women and their calendar”

Inside I groaned, I knew she was right and I knew that Kathy would agree with her.

“She’s right” said Kathy who then trod harder on the soft earth

“We need Emma for the catering side”

“What” I exclaimed

But Kathy was already on the phone. I listened with desperation, perhaps Emma wouldn’t answer

“Hi Emma” Kathy said brightly. One hope down, perhaps she would be busy.

“Are you busy?”

Please God please

“Could you pop over for a quick photo?” My hopes were tumbling like former Soviet Republics


“The Hunter Account.”

“Yes” a pause “we already are, bit of practice so to speak” I winced

“Excellent, see you soon” Emma said something that made Kathy laugh. Probably an obvious comment like “see all of you soon.”

Carol appeared with her camera and fussed around while she took photos of Kathy and me with strategically placed clipboards and pot plants. She was interrupted by a discreet knock on the outer door, and before I could say “Clothes Carol” she was gone, all I could see was her pale muscled back shining in the darkened outer office.

“Is that you Emma?” she called

I didn’t catch the reply but I sincerely hope it was my wife as Carol was unlocking the door. At least she stood back out of view of the street as Emma bustled into the room with a large cool bag

“I’ve brought some props” she announced “and as an added bonus we can eat them after”

Kathy strode confidently into the room.

“Emma” she said warmly as the kissed each other on the cheek.

“You look gorgeous” my wife complimented Kathy while she cast a murderous look at the office door. “There’s no use hiding in there Peter I’ve seen it all before”

I came out sheepishly, but Emma was in a demonstrative mood and she strode up to me and gave me a big hug, her patterned dress rough on my bare skin “If I find you and that naked strumpet have been up to anything I’ll chop it off” she whispered into my ear, before continuing loudly “I’m so proud of you, I never thought you had the nerve”

She broke away from me leaving the imprint of a row of buttons on my bare chest. “Where does one strip in here?” Emma asked.

I gestured towards my office.

“Come with me Pete, please” The shy act fooled nobody.

I caught a glimpse of Carol’s face as she mouthed a single word to Kathy “Owned”

I winced and followed Emma into my office. She closed the door before she closed on me.

“Has Petey been a good boy then” she said as she slowly undid the real buttons on her dress one by one.

I nodded as it fell to the floor. Emma stepped out of the dress towards me.

“And more to the point, has little willy behaved himself?” she teased, bouncing my penis between the two fingers of her right hand.

“How many times do I have to tell you Emma” I retorted vehemently “There’s nothing between me and Kathy”

“I can see that darling” she said as she removed her flimsy bra allowing her small breasts to fall free.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it” I replied

Slowly and proactively she removed a miniscule red thong.

“So you are telling me” continued quietly “you have been here all morning with that naked strumpet and nothing has happened.”

I decided that honesty was the best policy, “I swear I haven’t laid a finger on her”

“It’s not you finger I worried about” she said as she slowly dropped to her knees and grabbed my penis. “It’s the one eyed trouser snake that has a mind of its own”

It certainly had. The thought of having sex in my office while my secretary and business partner chatted amiably just outside the door was terrifying me. But the todger wasn’t bothered one little bit and he was well on his way to attention.

“See what I mean” Emma said as she moved her face towards it.

‘She wouldn’t dare,’ I thought ‘not here, would she?’

I stood terrified and erect in more ways than one as Emma ran her nose along my very erect penis. At any moment the door could open, I held my breath, but Emma had not been holding hers. Abruptly she stood up, “

Good” she announced “no smell of vagina, not guilty. Now let’s go and have our picture taken”

She started towards the door before pausing and turning on one foot. I looked at her, standing in my office, legs crossed and showing just a hint of pubic hair, one arm over her pert little breast as she sucked her finger.

“You stay here a moment sweetie” she told me sympathetically “I think you need to compose yourself”

It’s a book, a play and a picture. First word, two syllables. First syllable rhymes with day, second syllable, a small goat. Second word, rhymes with munch. Finger on nose, you’ve won, naked lunch. Unlike Manet’s dandies I had the bonus of dining with three naked women, but the luxury of an extra nude was more than compensated for by the lack clothing for me.

We were sitting in a circle of armchairs reserved for our waiting customers. Emma’s picnic lay spread out on the low coffee table between us. Emma had insisted we eat like this. “I’m not sitting at your desk so you can ogle our chests with your private bits all hidden away” she had said.

This was fine by me as now I could ogle their chests and their private bits that would have been hidden away.

“I’ll know if you’re staring” Emma scolded me. Hurriedly I jerked my eyes away from Kathy’s brown nipples.

“I wouldn’t dream of staring my angel” I replied

“Oh” she taunted me, “You don’t like my body do you”

“Of course I do my sweet, but this is hardly the time and place” I replied as Carol chortled to herself. Kathy however was deep in thought. Somehow I knew what she was thinking and fell silent myself.

Emma filled the silence “Carol can I ask you a delicate question?”

“Sure” she replied

“You shave, or is a wax?”

“Shave” she replied with no hint of embarrassment even though all eyes were now on her hairless vagina.

“It’s swimming” she relied “the cozzies are so tight any hairs would peak out”

“Have you any tips” asked Emma.

My eyes now swivelled towards her hairy crotch.

“Eyes up Peter” she demanded.

“You’re not thinking of going bald?” I asked.

“Well sweet pea” she replied “we don’t want any curly ones turning up in the vol-au-vonts do we?”

“It can itch if you don’t use cream, and if you plan on keeping it you need to watch for in growing hairs” advised Carol.

Kathy ran her fingers through her pubic hair. “I won’t be near the food, so I think I’ll keep it covered” she said.



Emma a stood up abruptly and brushed some bred crumbs from her bare skin.

“I have to get back” she told us striding across to my office.

I could here her clothes rustling as she got dresses

“Are you planning to remain naked?” she called.

Before I could answer Carol resumed her duties.

“Kathy has an appointment for three, and I’ll have to open the office soon.”

Emma emerged fully clothed, looking as fresh as a new mown lawn “Nothing for you sweetie. You can spend the rest of the afternoon naked, lucky you”

Yes lucky me indeed.

“He doesn’t have much choice” said Kathy, who quickly recounted my morning’s misfortune to my wife and a grinning naked secretary.

“Oh you poor love” Emma sympathised, “tell you what, shall I’ll go check if your suit is ready, as none of you are quite dressed for the street. Where’s the ticket for the cleaners”

“I’m not too sure” I replied cautiously. Emma was up to something. Unfortunately Kathy didn’t know my wife as well as I, and before I could continue she helpfully told Emma it was on my desk.

Emma grinned sweetly, a look I knew signalled Emma at her worst. Within a heartbeat she was in the office rummaging on my desk.

“Got it” she cried, “back in a sec” As she headed for the door we scurried for cover like rabbits at the sound of a gun.

We stared at each other, and laughed like naughty schoolchildren.

“Well” Kathy asked “how long can we stay naked.”

“Until threeish” replied Carol, she raised an eyebrow, “but shall we?”

“Dare you” challenged Kathy

“Done” said Carol, “What about you Pete?”

I shrugged “I haven’t got any clothes to put on”
“You soon will, Emma will be back in a moment”

Before I could answer the phone rang.

Carol picked up the receiver “A1 wedding services, Carol speaking, how I may help you?”

She listened for a moment, gave me a warm smile. “Sure thing, I’ll tell him” as she hung up.

“That was Emma; your clothes won’t be ready until four thirty. She say’s she’ll pick them up on her way home. Says it’s lucky you have no appointments this afternoon”

Not really I thought. I knew damn well that the suit was ready but my ever contrary wife had taken the news of my free afternoon to have some fun.

Even the strangest of situations can become mundane after a while. I sat at my chair, worked on my computer telephoned clients and contactors all without a stitch on. Occasionally my now clothed secretary brought me some coffee. I listened attentively as Kathy’s customers came and went, unknowing of the naked man in the behind the office door. I was not surprised when half past four came and went. At five Carol shut the office and with a very sympathetic goodbye left for swimming practice.

A few moments later Kathy called to me

“You can come out now. I’ve locked up and closed down the blinds. No one can see”

Well Kathy could, but then what’s been seen can’t be hidden, and after all we had a naked lunch and almost………… I took a deep breath and walked into the outer office. Kathy was standing with her back to me, she was fully clothed. I didn’t know if I was relieved or disappointed.

“Pete” she began quietly, “about earlier” she hesitated. “I hope …. Well I just want to say it was a mistake” She turned quickly “not that I don’t think you’re attractive and frankly at the time….” She paused, looking down at her shoes

“I know what you mean, it would have been like one of those TV series, will they won’t they? And when they do it’s over, the spark is gone and the show’s jumped the shark”

Kathy swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “So you’re Ok with it”

I smiled “Yes, it’s out of the way now. We went to the edge, looked into the abyss and returned unscathed”

She returned my smile and changed the subject, “How long do you think Emma will be?”

I shrugged; I knew that Emma was doing this deliberately. “You go, I’ll be OK”

“No, no I couldn’t do that, what if something happened, you would be here with no clothes”

A silence fell between us.

“Tell you what, why don’t we go over the Hunter presentation” I suggested.

“OK” she said “Do you want me to buff up?”

What a day, women falling over themselves to bare all before me. I could scarcely believe what I said next.

“No need for that”

“I don’t mind,” she said “I’m quite comfortable in the nude”

“Really” I tried to sound astonished, but deep down I knew.

“You haven’t joined the nudist colony have you?”

“We prefer to call it a naturist resort”

“I knew it” I slapped my bare knee

“So like I said, I quite happy to get undressed”

For the second time I shocked myself

“No, Emma may turn up any time and one of us will have to be dressed to answer the door.

“But if you want to do dress rehearsal….”

I knew that this was coming, none the less it was still a shock

“We’re not doing it in the nude” I exclaimed.

“Of course we are, everyone else will be naked, and we’d stick out like a sore thumb if we dressed”

But it wasn’t my sore thumb sticking out that bothered me.

A sudden rap on the door sent my heart into my mouth. “Are you decent?” shouted Emma. What would the street make of that I thought as Kathy opened the door and added to any listener’s intrigue with her reply. “I am, but you husband isn’t”

Emma burst through the door carrying a pile of clothes. “I brought them from home, there seemed no point in you dirtying a freshly cleaned suit”

As a starving man would grab a dry crusty loaf filled with maggots I gathered up my clothes and headed to my office. As I dressed I could hear the two women giggling, no doubt I was the butt of their jokes but frankly I didn’t give a damn, I was dressed again and for a brief moment I was as happy as an orphan on a church outing. Then it began to rain.

”Kathy says you didn’t need to have the suit cleaned for the Hunter presentation” They both burst into a fit of giggles.

“You will be cleaning the suit you are going to wear before you go won’t you Peter”
I cut trough the girlie laughter

“You do realise that this is it, don’t you?”

“No, that isn’t what you’ll be wearing”

I ignored that and went on “this is where they get us, there’ll be cameras everywhere and we’ll be all over some sordid little TV programme”

“Oh for goodness sake Peter, do you seriously think they would have strung us along for this amount of time” retorted Kathy, “besides I’ve checked them out, it’s a proper naturist resort and the Hunters have been members for nearly twenty years”

“Hah” I said triumphantly, “that just proves my point, no bona fide club would give out that sort of information”

“It wasn’t the club that told me” Kathy replied calmly, “I found out from other members”

“What other members?” I asked.

“The members I meet when I go there”

That stopped me in my tracks. Emma who had been grinning like a demented Aunt witnessing a family argument turned slowly to look at Kathy who had the good grace to go bright red.

“Kathy, is there something you’d like to tell us”

A very small voice replied “I joined the club”

“I knew it” I said triumphantly

“You are a nudist” Emma pronounced the words slowly with much incredulity.

Kathy was beginning to recover now. “And what’s wrong with that?”

“You frolic about in the all together”

“That’s the problem we face, people like you sniggering about naturism. It’s just ordinary people doing ordinary things”

“With all your bits hanging out” I replied

Emma interrupted my flow “Er.. Pete I don’t think that we are really in a position to criticise that statement”

“What are you suggesting” but my brain was catching up with my mouth. The naked meals, the casual nudity around the house in the last few weeks. “Oh” I said.

“I think we’re all nudists now” said Emma with all the finality of a closing coffin lid.